Tag Archives: List

Reverse Bucket List: Look Back Before Looking Forward

Everybody has a bucket list — a random list of things we’d like to do, be, or have before we “kick the bucket.” Some people make due with rough mental compilations, while others prefer their bucket lists typed, formatted, and prominently displayed. (See also: Goal Setting, Defined and Deconstructed)

But what of the bucket list? Where is the context? How satisfied will we feel about our lives today if we’re constantly studying a list of things we haven’t done? Where do we even begin with a list like this, instigated no less by a big clock in the sky counting us down towards an unknown “bucket date?”

I get panicky just thinking about it.

Although a bucket list can be motivational, I believe that in and of itself it can be more crippling than empowering. In order for a bucket list to reach its true potential, I think we should first start with a Reverse Bucket List.

What’s a Reverse Bucket List?

In order to gauge where we’re going, it’s always good to know where we’ve come from. Creating a context of our journey thus far is imperative to understanding why we want the things we want, and ultimately, how to get them.

A Reverse Bucket List is a list of things that we think are “bucket list worthy,” but that we’ve already done. It’s a creative way of reflecting on your life thus far and taking note of the some of the experiences that really sang to you.

Not only is it fun, but you might be surprised by what you’ve already done in your life. (Conversely, you may realize you need to get out of the house more.)

Either way, it’s all good.

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Reverse Bucket List Exercise

You may want to structure the exercise of making your Reverse Bucket List using the method for devising 100 ways to change your life.

By doing it as a fast-paced brainstorming exercise, you may be surprised at what makes its way on to your Reverse Bucket List. There are no right or wrong answers — only your own answers. It’s your life, and your reverse bucket list; write down as many things as you can, without worrying about what you’re actually writing. We’ll get to that later.

Here are a few general ideas to get your reflective juices flowing:

  • Achievements or awards you’ve received
  • Fears you’ve conquered
  • Careers you’ve had
  • Friends you’ve made and people you’ve met
  • Places you’ve traveled to
  • Anything that’s worthy of a story you tell other people
  • Goals and milestones you reached
  • Childhood dreams (no matter how silly in retrospect) you achieved
  • Bizarre or fun things that have happened to you or that you’ve done 

What to Do With Your List

This isn’t a pesky to-do list or a vision board that requires prominent display as a reminder of what you need to do or where you’re going.

Instead, it’s more in the act of constructing and initially reviewing your Reverse Bucket List that you will see the benefits.

Once you’ve finished writing out your Reverse Bucket List, read through it. What do you think? Do you notice any themes? Are there any gaps? How does reading this list make you feel?

Regardless of whether you feel there’s too little or too much on your Reverse Bucket List, you might discover some of the things on it are surprising, even illuminating. And they might lead you to your next step.

The Next Step

Using the observations you made above, now is a great time to project your Reverse Bucket List forward. To reverse the Reverse Bucket List, as it were.

Here are some exercises you can do from here:


Wise Bread

Big List of Things to be Happy About

I’m writing this post from the Caribbean island of Grenada, where I’m house-sitting for three months. Sounds pretty good, huh? (See also: Housesit on Your Next Vacation)

Well, I’ve just been dealt a heavy blow. My “partner” — who was supposed to join me here shortly — announced that he’s been sleeping with another woman, and….drum roll, please….she’s pregnant.

So my plans of spending the next three months in romantic coupled bliss on a tropical island are out the window. And to make matters worse, I’m really sick — an illness so incapacitating that I can only sit up for bouts of 10 minutes before having to lie down again. Being sick like this is a very scary way to be when you’re alone — and a stark reminder of that aloneness.

And, ironically, I’ve agreed to write a post on things to be happy about.

It’s time to reframe my experience. It would be stating the obvious to point out that I’m nursing my wounds (physical and emotional) on a Caribbean island, where I have almost no overhead expenses. This is something to be happy about. There are some engaging and friendly locals who live and work on the property, lending me a sense of companionship and security. And heck — I’ve found a way to travel the world full-time in a financially sustainable way; something I’ve been doing for the last five years.

To say “things could be worse” is an understatement.

Don’t Wallow — Reframe Your Thinking

When times are tough, it’s difficult to see the forest for the trees. Everything becomes dire and full of despair.

To a point, I think it’s healthy to explore these darker moments, because they lead to incredible growth experiences. But to linger in the depression — to wallow in self-loathing and doubt — is a dangerous road to go down. And you usually end up pushing away the people who are trying to help you in the process.

Instead, wallow — but only for a while. Then, reframe. After a period of self-care and nurturing kindness, it’s time to pull yourself off of what can be a slippery slope towards bad habits and depression. Consider how you can change your life if you’re feeling stuck. Cut out some pictures and dream big with a vision board. And surround yourself with people who love you and can support you. Don’t push them away, as is often the knee-jerk response. It’s in getting each other through dark moments in life that friendships deepen.

Here’s a random list of things to be happy about. Don’t allow a potential lack of some of these items in your life to get you down; instead do what I did in coming up with this list — look at the world around you through a baby’s eyes. You’ll be amazed at what you observe, and how simple the root of happiness can be.

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Things to Be Happy About

  1. The sound of an ice cream truck.
  2. Sun showers.
  3. Birds chirping.
  4. Gentle ocean waves.
  5. That whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
  6. The smell of freshly baked bread.
  7. Colorful flowers.
  8. Being inside when it’s raining. Especially in bed, where you can snuggle up and enjoy the fact that you’re dry.
  9. Being outside in a hot and refreshing rain, when you don’t care about getting wet.
  10. The sound of children laughing.
  11. Fresh, delicious food.
  12. Electricity.
  13. Clean water.
  14. The sound of trees rustling in the wind.
  15. The feeling you get when somebody smiles at you.
  16. A mother’s hug.
  17. Cookies, still warm out of the oven.
  18. A parent saying “I’m proud of you.”
  19. Landing a new job.
  20. Waking up to a fresh snow — and knowing it’s Saturday so you don’t have to shovel!
  21. Laughing so hard you cry.
  22. The feeling of comfort when a pet snuggles up to you after a long hard day.
  23. Epic sunsets.
  24. The excitement of going somewhere new.
  25. A great cup of coffee or tea (especially on a cold morning).
  26. Getting absorbed in a really good book.
  27. Cooking a meal that is so good it surprises even you.
  28. Hosting a party that goes off like a charm.
  29. Warm clothing in cold weather.
  30. Cool clothing in warm weather.
  31. Freedom of rights.
  32. A mug of frothy hot chocolate after coming in from the cold.
  33. Music that makes you want to dance.
  34. The thrill of new love.
  35. Sleeping in.

To round out the list, here are a few things the Twitter and Facebook users I asked like to be happy about:

  1. How about being alive! The sun, the wind, the moon. Coffee, gelato, pineapple. Kissing, hugging, crying.
  2. Being healthy enough to travel.
  3. Smoke-free bars, clubs, and restaurants.
  4. Mismatched wool socks and sandals!
  5. Good friends and fond memories.
  6. Double rainbows and changing fall colors.
  7. Bubble wrap and being able to be you.
  8. The word “bellybutton.” I dunno…it just always makes me laugh saying it.
  9. Being in the present moment.
  10. Spandex, kittens, rude people falling down, salmon with dill, celebrity nipple slips, Wolf Blitzer lawn gnomes, Darth Vader Pez dispensers, the Dali Llama, puppy kisses, and the fact that they are filming season two of Game of Thrones.
  11. Puppies first opening their eyes and looking in wonder at their world.
  12. Friends coming to visit.
  13. That you are young and your knees and hips still work!
  14. You’re still alive, nothing is broken, and you aren’t in jail…so anything is possible.

There. I don’t know about you, but I actually feel a bit better. It’s nice to reframe a tragedy (or tragic frame of mind) into something you just might eventually be able to be happy about.

This is a working list. Got anything to add?


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